My daughter and I spent the whole day yesterday getting beautiful to go out for dinner. It was fun. We had baths, haircuts and lots of smellgoods. I know I had a good time and I know her cute little bangs will help her get around a lot better. She just refuses to wear clips, baretts or ties no matter how beautiful they are. One day I will have a haircut that will allow me to let my curls go free. Right now, I do not. It is long and crazy with grey coming back around my ears again, sigh. He loves it down. I wish I did. I wear a clip or two that are easily removed of course. I usually dye it black or the darkest brown. This week I may go red. I went red one Christmas and everyone at work liked it if I remember correctly. I aquired the nickname Red for a bit but you know these colors in a box only last 28 washes whereas the colors at the parlor last 29, giggles.

I am tired. I am having my coffee this morning. I will not miss it again. I know that is what is messing up some of my days. At least I hope it is that simple. I am still stressing last night. I invited my honey to go with us to dinner. Us, being a girlfriend and my little butterfly. He changes when drinking. I wish he did not drink at all. Dinner was fine really but I came home to hell. All right, hell is a lot worse I am told but it was close just a bit cooler. He commented on how much better it was to have an intellectual, himself, at dinner instead of the rest of us who only commented on the food and injested 1200 calories a piece. He went on and on and ended it with what a loser I am. "You're a loser", I hear it right now in my head. What a loser. Sometimes it is fun to injest 1200 calories. I mean, how often is that done? I cannot afford sushi everytime we go out to eat as much as I would love and prefer too. We eat very well for a one income family. We did not talk shop with him there or maybe we just did not feel like talking. We left the house famished and 1200 calories sounded great.

He works, occassionally, but I do not remember him taking us anywhere or spending it on us. I may be mistaken. I may have forgotten. We have been together for a couple of years. He still talks about taking us fishing, camping and rafting, etc. I want to do all of these things but it looks like I will have to organize the trips. Just one morning will he not wake up and with the truck packed, coffee made and scream "Let's Go Fishing?" I am a dreamer. I guess as I always have been. If my life was 1/3 of my dreams I would be living Large! Giggles.

He is awake now and back to his normal self. He has apologized for last night and wonders where his shirt has gone that he wore out. He is going to work again today which is a great for both of us. He and his buddy who sleeps in the back are walking back and forth gathering tools for the day and drinking the coffee I made for them. Cold coffee for one and hot for the other. I love making cold coffee. It tastes just as good as the stuff that sells for $2.50/can. Shaking up that coffee reminds me of all the times I shook up my butterfly's formula at 6 am to get five bottles ready for daycare. They practically forced me to make seven, even eith ounce bottles! For a baby! "Oh this is your first baby you will learn", they said. I said, "her stomach is the size of a ping pong ball, if that. Where is there room for seven or eight ounces of formula?" I did it anyway after they swore she was still hungry after each of my size bottle. She was not hungry. She was bored. Those were good days. Daycare only lasted a couple of months. She loved it but I did not. She loved anything though. They fed the babies too fast and changed them too rough. Everything was hurry up and wait because there were so many kids. Myself as a newcomer with no experience was left with seven or more one year olds. That is nuts. I thanked God for my ability to read stories on the carpet in such a way they sat and listened. I am graphic I guess and, as my Mom said, a good actress. The play area outside was on top of bite sized wood chips. Okay, who thought of that brilliant idea??? I ended up getting a job there just to watch her and I ended up in a different class, giggles. I wanted to try daycare as a profession at least one time in my life anyway. Man, Those poor ladies are paid so little money for such a big job. I made 6.50/hr. That is sad. That whole time of our lives is a big story. How we afforded to eat I do not know. Oh wait. I remember how we ate. Giggles. That is that other story, giggles.

It is going to be a great day I can tell. I have to work for the next four days. We are saving for that fishing/camping trip, rafting the Chattahoochi and as of today I believe at least one of my family members wants to meet in the Carolinas in the future since we have not seen each other in years and there are so many new babies. Hee Hee. I love the Carolinas.

I am starving. Maybe I will injest 1200 calories. Off to a great day! I will have a great day no matter what happens and I will make a lot of money and we will take a trip soon.