MAN, I miss being happier. I refuse, for some reason, to go to the doctor for depression because all they want you to do, it seems, is take the next new medication they have samples of. Did you see the episode of House last night? He actually gave in and started taking medication to be happy. I just have a hard time believing that one has to resort to such a measure. I just found this little bit of information that I believe is going to work for me if I will get my butt off this chair. Maybe I will get rid of this chair, HAHAHAHAHA! "Exercise, if done correctly, is one of the most promising natural treatments for depression. It elevates mood quickly and reliably. It is believed that this takes place because exercise affects the same neurotransmitter system that medication does," says Dr. Shadick. I gotta go. I must go excercise. I will blog later to record my findings. I feel better already. I will get off this chair, I will excercise and I will get better. Can We Do This? "Yes We Can!" That quotation is from Bob the Builder and President Obama. Giggles. You would think with all my HAHAHAs and Giggles that I am pretty happy but it is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I am off to give this a try and I expect it to work.
OH MY GOODNESS THE SUN JUST CAME OUT! IS THE FLOOD OVER??? I BET THERE IS A RAINBOW OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. THANK YOU GOD!!!

Heat of the Night is on. What a great show made right here in GA. I still have so much to see in GA. It is amazing how one lives in a great state for so many years and does not take advantage of the sites always thinking a vacation is getting far away from home. I am saving money for the raft ride and I cannot wait to make my happy meal for the trout. Happy meals really catch some great tasting trout and the bass will go after it too. FYI, a happy meal is one piece of sweet corn, half of a nightcrawler and another piece of sweet corn. Hooorah! Yup, I just cannot wait. The starter on the truck, I hope that is all it is, needs to be fixed before we go. I would hate to get stuck in the woods with no way out. My battery died one year up in the mountains two hours north from here and as usual God saved me. He sent a friend of mine INTO THE NATIONAL FOREST! HE FOUND ME!!! Isn't that something? Mind you I do not have a cell phone so I did not call him. This was a complete surprise visit. I mean I had to move rocks to make my tent way back in the forest where it looked like noone had camped yet by a cold running creek that my dog just loved to run across back and forth having the best time. I drank a few cups of coffee one morning at Waffle House and described the location to a friend of mine. I told him when I was going and sure enough he showed up just in time. He saved the day and I fed him trout with homefries and onions from the camp fire. We played cards and drank fresh coffee. Who says you need a house to live good? God does that to me ALL THE TIME. He has gotten me out of soooooo many sticky situations that could have killed me. He loves me very much and I hope I continue to show him how much I love Him. SIIIIIGH. What a Great Father He Is! Okay, Okay, I could go on about God forever, giggles, as He will be with us forever. What a Relief that is. I will take this relief with me and have a peaceful day. God Bless Us All.

My daughter and I spent the whole day yesterday getting beautiful to go out for dinner. It was fun. We had baths, haircuts and lots of smellgoods. I know I had a good time and I know her cute little bangs will help her get around a lot better. She just refuses to wear clips, baretts or ties no matter how beautiful they are. One day I will have a haircut that will allow me to let my curls go free. Right now, I do not. It is long and crazy with grey coming back around my ears again, sigh. He loves it down. I wish I did. I wear a clip or two that are easily removed of course. I usually dye it black or the darkest brown. This week I may go red. I went red one Christmas and everyone at work liked it if I remember correctly. I aquired the nickname Red for a bit but you know these colors in a box only last 28 washes whereas the colors at the parlor last 29, giggles.

I am tired. I am having my coffee this morning. I will not miss it again. I know that is what is messing up some of my days. At least I hope it is that simple. I am still stressing last night. I invited my honey to go with us to dinner. Us, being a girlfriend and my little butterfly. He changes when drinking. I wish he did not drink at all. Dinner was fine really but I came home to hell. All right, hell is a lot worse I am told but it was close just a bit cooler. He commented on how much better it was to have an intellectual, himself, at dinner instead of the rest of us who only commented on the food and injested 1200 calories a piece. He went on and on and ended it with what a loser I am. "You're a loser", I hear it right now in my head. What a loser. Sometimes it is fun to injest 1200 calories. I mean, how often is that done? I cannot afford sushi everytime we go out to eat as much as I would love and prefer too. We eat very well for a one income family. We did not talk shop with him there or maybe we just did not feel like talking. We left the house famished and 1200 calories sounded great.

He works, occassionally, but I do not remember him taking us anywhere or spending it on us. I may be mistaken. I may have forgotten. We have been together for a couple of years. He still talks about taking us fishing, camping and rafting, etc. I want to do all of these things but it looks like I will have to organize the trips. Just one morning will he not wake up and with the truck packed, coffee made and scream "Let's Go Fishing?" I am a dreamer. I guess as I always have been. If my life was 1/3 of my dreams I would be living Large! Giggles.

He is awake now and back to his normal self. He has apologized for last night and wonders where his shirt has gone that he wore out. He is going to work again today which is a great for both of us. He and his buddy who sleeps in the back are walking back and forth gathering tools for the day and drinking the coffee I made for them. Cold coffee for one and hot for the other. I love making cold coffee. It tastes just as good as the stuff that sells for $2.50/can. Shaking up that coffee reminds me of all the times I shook up my butterfly's formula at 6 am to get five bottles ready for daycare. They practically forced me to make seven, even eith ounce bottles! For a baby! "Oh this is your first baby you will learn", they said. I said, "her stomach is the size of a ping pong ball, if that. Where is there room for seven or eight ounces of formula?" I did it anyway after they swore she was still hungry after each of my size bottle. She was not hungry. She was bored. Those were good days. Daycare only lasted a couple of months. She loved it but I did not. She loved anything though. They fed the babies too fast and changed them too rough. Everything was hurry up and wait because there were so many kids. Myself as a newcomer with no experience was left with seven or more one year olds. That is nuts. I thanked God for my ability to read stories on the carpet in such a way they sat and listened. I am graphic I guess and, as my Mom said, a good actress. The play area outside was on top of bite sized wood chips. Okay, who thought of that brilliant idea??? I ended up getting a job there just to watch her and I ended up in a different class, giggles. I wanted to try daycare as a profession at least one time in my life anyway. Man, Those poor ladies are paid so little money for such a big job. I made 6.50/hr. That is sad. That whole time of our lives is a big story. How we afforded to eat I do not know. Oh wait. I remember how we ate. Giggles. That is that other story, giggles.

It is going to be a great day I can tell. I have to work for the next four days. We are saving for that fishing/camping trip, rafting the Chattahoochi and as of today I believe at least one of my family members wants to meet in the Carolinas in the future since we have not seen each other in years and there are so many new babies. Hee Hee. I love the Carolinas.

I am starving. Maybe I will injest 1200 calories. Off to a great day! I will have a great day no matter what happens and I will make a lot of money and we will take a trip soon.

It is so much fun when the characters on her cartoons are coincidentally doing the same activities we are. That happened today. I am not sure if she realizes it but I make a big fuss about it, ha, ha! Thunderhorse here to the right is supposed to be my Indian name according to a quiz sent to me by a friend. I would love to go horseback riding. I have looked up rafting the Chattahoochi, who to call for the raft and drop off locations. If we ever do that then I want to look up a place to go horseback riding. I am finally starting to live and it has a lot to do with my daughter being here and I want her to have a really fun lfe from beginning to end. I wish I had started long ago but better late than never ever. Right?

I cannot blog too long. The day is absolutely flying. It is too hot to play outside so we need to stay occupied in here. Franny's Feet is on and is one of my favs. My butterfly is looking at her feet talking about her shoes. She loooooves her shoes.

I had a bad day yesterday. I realized last night that on my bad days I failed to have coffee that morning. Could that be the cause of the bad mood? It seems like every other day or two my day just sucks and I feel bad about the people around me having to hear anything stupid I have to say. Sometimes I even get angry that it really does not ruin anyone else's day but my own. How do they do it? How do they just see me acting like an a-hole and still go on so calmy? I want that skill. I need that skill. I try not to act out in front of the little one but I know she knows. My Mom always said I was a good actress but I am not that good. I have some time to get better. She is not two yet and I read that from two on is where she picks up and remembers everything. I made sure to have a big cup-o-joe today and so far so good on the mood. Something I noticed on days I am in a good mood is my significant other has gone to work. He does not work very often but when he does I get a load of stuff done, like today, even before munchkin got up it was ON! I may analyze too much. I think it comes from needing an answer for everything. I looked up some answers today about my mood swings and a schedule is necessary. If one does not have a schedule their life may be chaotic. Another thing to work on. Sigh.

My fortune cookie from last night reads, "Seek out the significance of your problem at this time. Try to understand." The significance? Does this mean my problem may not be all that important? Does anyone really take fortunes from cookies to heart? I used to use the lucky numbers on the back. We tried the shrimp in lobster sauce. It was great! Forget Chinese food nothing, no, nothing compares to SUSHI!!!!! Sushi is the best food in the Universe! I gotta go! Little Miss Everything Needs Me, Giggles.

Today is starting great. I have so many things done. This cup of coffee is really good. I found some great cream while cleaning out the fridge and what a treat it is. I put a spot of it in kitty's milk for a treat for she is pregnant. Maybe I will have that farm I have always wanted after all, ha, ha! I have a dream of a farm by water with mountains in the view that snow cap every morning while eagles visit daily to perch on my fence posts. It reminds me of the ten days I spent in Montana. What a great trip. I stopped in Idaho for potatoes and Utah for a spell. Life goes so fast. I pray that it is a great one. I have already been here forty years and I am getting anxious for what is to come. Maybe I should give up the coffee and relax, giggles.

My little butterfly is still sleeping. I am lucky she sleeps so long except for the fact they say growth happens while sleeping and wow if she isn't taller every time she wakes. I need to find out what bed is next. She is growing out of hers and I want her to have the best. It is actually time to give up a lot of the things around here but not today.

My nose is running like my new faucet today. What gives? I bet if I dust this old furniture I will feel better. The sun is shining bright. Today is a pool day for sure. I have five hours before I must get ready for work so off I go to continue a successful day. I am so grateful yesterday is gone and we have today to start again.

"I have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be."– Groucho Marx

I am so tired today. Yesterday I flew around work like a happy butterfly making everyone smile. Today I am sure they felt my less than wonderful mood. I hate it for them because they count on me to make the night great. Sigh. Tomorrow is another day. I will not sit up all night tonight. I will sleep well. I will eat well in the morning and sit by the pool all day soaking up vitamin D while watching the prettiest little girl float in her big duck with her huge purple sunglasses on, giggles. Yes, tomorrow will be great and everyone I see will benefit from it.

I came home from work to a very much needed new sink that I have begged to have for over a year now and a promise for new caulk between the tiles in both bathrooms tomorrow. It is unfortunate the extreme measures one must use to get what is needed sometimes. I actually made an appointment with a man about a house and said I was leaving this one if things did not change and they are changing. I almost did it though. I almost left. One day I may but not today. Things are getting better around here slowly but very surely. For once in my life I am sticking to my guns.

"If things did not change there would be no butterflies." My new buddy gave me a plack with that saying on it just this week and I love it and I need it. She is a good woman. I am glad she is in my life. I need her too. It has been a long time since I have had a friend to hang out with. We sat at the pool all day yesterday before work. We got some good color. She showed up wearing the cutest hat and suit, giggles. I have longed for female companionship for years. God, please "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference".

Oh my goodness! A fresh garlic stuffed 4.5 Boston Butt Pork Roast on top of carrots, potatoes, lots of onions and your favorite seasonings in a baking bag for three hours at 350 degrees. That is just what I did and everyone loved it. That is not what I really wanted to write about but that is the successful part of the day.